When You Co Parent With A Narcissist
The good news is that there is a lot that you can do to minimize the damage of having a narcissistic parent. That said dealing with a narcissistic co-parent often adds tremendous complications.
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10 signs you are co parenting with a narcissist.
When you co parent with a narcissist. So when it comes time to take the kids on that trip or to that event you discussed they will argue that youre cutting into their custody time. While its tempting to let anger and sadness dictate your response acting on negative emotions often leads to further pain and suffering. You want them to feel supported and loved.
As a result what should be a run-of-the-mill co-parenting chat can turn adversarial in the blink of an eyeand its unlikely your narcissistic ex will take responsibility for the negative behaviors let alone change them after the fact. The fact that he gets to use the kids against you is just an added bonus. The narcissistic co-parent if given enough rope will hang himself.
Family bond obstruction especially when caused by a narcissistic co-parent is one of the most painful things a parent can experience. When your children are with your co-parent you must let go. Of course you want whats best for your children.
Years could pass but a narcissist can be unrelenting. The narcissist lies by making things up and by leaving things out and he does it all in amazing detail. If parenting is challenging and co-parenting is even more difficult then co-parenting with a narcissist can almost seem like an absolutely impossible order.
Counter parenting is when you actively attempt to undo the damage done to your child by their narcissistic parent. However if you can put a checkmark on all or most of this listyou are most definitely dealing with a narcissistic parent. If you say you think bedtime should be at 900 a narcissistic co-parent will make it 1100 pm.
Just because you do not like your childs parent and your ex-spouse is showing certain symptoms it does not mean they have a narcissistic personality disorder. Forshee says that co-parenting on a level playing field is far preferable to decision-making done through the court system but when youre co-parenting with a narcissist nothing is ideal. Pathological lying is the hallmark characteristics of a narcissist.
They lie out of their need to manipulate and control. Narcissists dwell in anger and live for vengeance. The narcissist co-parent counts on the fact that his passive-aggressive conditioning of your responses to his words and behaviors has stuck and that you still fear what he could do might do will do.
Having a narcissistic parent usually results. They must be the winner the best and take great pleasure in tormenting youstill. If you get upset because the kids eat junk food at the co-parents house he or she will feed them even more.
In other words if youre co-parenting with a narcissist you might find that even the most innocent and well-meaning feedback is perceived as a personal slight. But co-parenting with a narcissist is just as tormenting if not more so. It is much harder when your co-parent has a Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
He counts on his control in this situation and your emotional fragility. When co-parenting with a narcissist you will notice they still attempt to use gaslighting.
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